Weekly Illumination: January 3rd, 2016

The Peace Dealer

NAMASTE MY FELLOW LOVELY SOULS. ON THIS DAY I WILL PROVIDE SPIRITUAL ILLUMINATION USING BOTH TAROT AND ASTROLOGY. THAT BEING SAID THE CARD THAT I DRAW FOR THIS WEEK IS…

Sunday – Death

You are done with a past way of life FOREVER! IT IS OVER FOR REAL! YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT TOO! RIP…..The transmutation that you undergo today will only reflect the greatness you have fought hard to harness.

Monday – The Hierophant

As you have shed old behavior you will now have higher wisdom initiate you into a more advanced way of living. Be sure to respect the established authority around and be mindful of ways you can apply the knowledge gained.

Tuesday – The Hanged Man

On this day you will actually be initiated and gain a brand new awareness of your entire life. You have time to relax and just literally chill so…

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Christianity: To be or not to be.

People may think i’m a nut head but i really don’t care. I’ve been on my spiritual quest for about five years. my journey started at religion because i was once a devote Christian. I still fight with myself daily because of the people around me. I’ve always been a keen reader and seeker of knowledge and truth, It wasn’t until i started studying with the Jehovah witnesses that i actually started understanding the bible and privately breaking down scripture meanings. Discovering that most things i had believed all my life were all lies, i was very angry trying with all my might to defend what i was told.

I mean really come on, this book is a big spell book in my eyes. I used to be one of the ones that went to church every Sunday sitting in the congregation listening to the pastor give his message using a few scriptures. I was always intrigued  on how he could take one or two scriptures and create a whole message that always seemed to touch someone. Someone always seemed to be catching the holy ghost or speaking in tongues. i just didn’t understand why every Sunday there was this big ass show. its like a concert going in a black baptist church.

Now the Jehovah witnesses do church differently which is why i switched denominations. I always tried to question the pastor when i was younger because i was confused by a lot of stuff i was reading. The bible clearly says in 1 John 4:1 to test the spirits of our leaders. some of them were not being honest, and being able to discuss the things i was learning with like minded people lead me to find out that everything about Christianity on the surface was all bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, i still read my bible because it does have useful tips to keep you grounded. i get a magical feeling when i read certain scriptures and it gives me healing. 

Like i said before, Jehovah’s children do church a little different. Everyone can speak up, you just don’t have one person standing in the pulpit telling everyone what a scripture means. Also, they use publications of real life events to break down the scriptures. They make it so you can understand just like the elders. i said before that christian leaders want you to hang on to everything they say. Just because they give a message from the top of the dome does not make it right or truth. Jehovah’s Witnesses will come to your house to study with you, but before i go praising them i stopped studying with them too. It just seemed like they were trying to recruit me or something. Then i started reading up on certain rules and protocol that these people take to handle matters within the church. It did not sit with me well so i left them too.

I learned a lot about these pagan holidays that Christians keep trying to try to tie to scripture. My thing is, why would you believe in a religion that tries to directly tie fantasy into reality? Who is this Jesus figure? According to my research, Christianity has only been around for about 2013 years but man has been on earth for about 6 million years. Its not adding up. i know for a fact that the letter J was not integrated into the English language until the 1600s, so what were they calling Jesus before?  so if Christianity only been around for 2000 years, and it started in America in 1619 the very same year the first black slaves were brought to america you tell me something, why indoctrinate people that already had beliefs?? Its a control system that’s why.

 

To Be Continued…

 

 

Its just a journey bitch…….

https://soundcloud.com/gemi-fly_beatjacks/gemi-fly-in-my-feelings

While listening to the words of this song, it healed my soul. You see i had a problem with letting go. I couldn’t let go of my past….. I don’t know why somebody would want to hold on to the past though, and that’s why i had to let go. I had to let go because i couldn’t continue to let my past define my future. by the way, this song is by a woman from fort lauderdale…. yeah i love me some Florida. Anyways the point is……

I love hard and i always get my feelings hurt. I always care about people who really don’t care about me. I always would let people do stuff to me and act like it was cool because i just wanted someone around me. I wanted everybody to like me. No matter if they were bad people it just didn’t matter. Now I’ve had some time to be all alone with my thoughts and i realize that everything I’ve been through was meant for me. I realize this because i let all that bullshit go. It’s time for me to elevate to the next level in my life and in my spirit. All the things i been through set me up for this next level. All the hurt, all the pain…. it was meant to help…..

Where I’m trying to go i had to be prepared for. there’s a lot more that i have to face… Not only for me, but for my people…. You see i been running from my calling a few years now. I am a revolutionary and my purpose here is to see through the bullshit and help liberate my people. In order to do that, i had to face all my bullshit…. all my darkness, all my trials.. my truth, and accept it. for what it was. i had to realize that attachment is the most dangerous thing on earth for people. That’s because change is constant. The saying, i came in this world by myself  and i die by myself is so true. It holds more weight for me in my life then the average Joe knows…. so come with me on my journey…..

stay tuned.

The maverick..

Finally there.

they say it’s never to long before you get where your going. Just sitting back, it will leave you feeling lonely. So step out on faith, give yourself a break, risk it all. Your never learn nothing if you can’t learn to fall. The key to success is to get back up, nobody is gonna do it for you so just do it yourself.  Stop complaining and waiting because of the time that your wasting, and if it’s time that your wasting your mind could start getting hasty. Gotta make up your mind that this moment’s your time, you gotta get up and get it just like you wake up to get it. 

This is my mindset, ain’t got no more time for the playing, gotta take care of my babies all the hard times are what made me. Ten years from now I wanna look at my daughter while sitting with my  son screaming one down one to go! Knowing I did all I could to get my kids out the hood, knowing that they gone make it because momma never quit. Her bad ass took every hit, yes every little bit!

If you ain’t walking with me then I guess your left out. Because everyday I breathe, I’m showing the world what I’m about. Working hard for a little time to chill out for the rest of my life. If you ain’t about making this money, then your luck has just run out! FOR REAL! 

   

my first letter… Letter to god.

Dear God,

This little girl is looking for your guidance, so please guide her footsteps. All of her life, facing so much strife. Bullied, ignored, abandoned but she still persevered. As a 28 year old woman i wonder everyday why i am going down the road i am. I always kept you close. Even though my parents never really encouraged it. I always had a faith and i still do now. Sometimes i look and the mirror and wonder how i have gotten so far away from you? A child that always found a way to be near you, for no apparent reason, but sometimes i feel as though you have left me. Why must my road be so hard? You know my story…. Mother abandoned me at eight, my father was never even present. Before you get mad, i know you placed a loving father in my life. He took care of me to the fullest. I don’t dispute that… Why did the secret come out in the way that it did? You know it was down hill and straight rebellion from there….

Lord I know you are with me because i went through so much alone and you always kept me safe. I just want you back in my guidance. I just want you to make me pray harder, get back to you with all of my heart, mind and soul. I keep running from whatever your calling is on my life. Its the biggest maze of my life but i just can’t seem to get started. I know you have a calling on my life or you wouldn’t have gave me such a testimony… just point me in the direction you want me to go. i’m listening and i’m ready.

Lord i ask you to take everything that is holding me back in my life, out my life. I desperately need a new beginning because i get discouraged daily. it seems every time i take two steps forward i get knocked back 4. why is that? Am i forgetting a lesson? i just need to know and i pray that you signify it for me.

Amen

I just wanna speak from the heart right now. God, i know that my friend maryjane has been with me for a long time now, whats it been like 11 years. So i just wanna say as i lay my friend to rest, i hope its for the better. See because i just be trying to get my mind right you know. Sometimes i just can’t deal with this cold ass world you know. Okay so i decided that in order for my ideas to come fresh from the heart, i have to stop beaming my brain with this shit. You see cuz i tend to go deep on that shit, (excuse the profanity) because people can be so hateful. Okay so i was listening to this song right from this indie artist i’m in love with, we ain’t gone say her name because i’m so tired of giving people free promotion and they act like they don’t see it, or they’re motivation is you so they write about it in their songs. Actually, a couple of indie artist have referenced me or i was the motivation to their song. Its so funny because one of the songs, well actually both of the songs were kinda hate records. One is saying how much they hate me but yet every time you see me you act like we’re best of friends. Don’t do that… For 2014, i’m just in my own lane. I don’t have a lot of friends and honestly i like it that way. Now the other song is a funny track actually. You see i listen to this mix tape all the time and it took me about 2 years to figure out this bitch was referencing me in her song! LOL!  I mean you said you was a star, but you can’t even act like it! you know what i hate a bitch that say she ain’t looking for fame when in fact thats ALL she is looking for. why post picture after picture if you don’t want fame? i’m just saying???  Sooo this song… i would recite the lyrics but for real that would put on blast so i’ll just chill but know this boo, i see ya and i hear ya. I was so mad though because after all these year being your biggest fan just for you to try to chump me in a song! That’s why i love being me, my irelevant ass be referenced so much in peoples songs. I wonder sometimes what i would sound like in a song. So guess what just for fun i’m currently writing… I feel like i have a lot i can contribute to music. A lot of lessons and test on my life. Be like the raping k. michelle! you know! I have so many stories of encouragement, but my problem is i didn’t want to hurt nobodies feeling because a s a gemini with sagittarius rising and moon i can be a little to honest. 

Just know that in 2014 i’m writing but i won’t be no playing when 2015 hit! believeit! yall better put your grown women pants on for real because i’m just a little tired of playing games! i’m out!

Don’t hold back now…..

Three roses, they symbolize me. One for my past, one for the present, and one for the future….

My past wasn’t always rosey…. little guidance, feeling abandoned. I didn’t trust, not even oneself. I did things off impulses, ran away from the pain. I didnt want to face myself…. I wasn’t ready. I didnt know love. Never felt it….

In the present, im learning everyday….. learning what love is and how to love. Learning to trust my own intuitions… im thankful for my past because it helped shape the present, but it does not define it. Rather it teaches me about my past, where I can make better choices for my future.

The future, it looks so bright. Because in my present I am able to create a better future. I have the knowledge needed to conceive a special future. One with love, peace, and happiness… I can now balance my emotions and let go of my past, because my future….. is more important.

Nicole poet….

Confusion sets in and I’m crying all night, I’m just trying to live my life tired of taking all this strife. They said change would come when you got tired of  waiting, so I’m pushing for my goals ain’t got no more time for contemplating. Nicole poet is da name, money is da game change the world in a day and you can keep your fucking fame. Positivity its in my life, I have no need to cause conviction. I just charge it to the tab called life, your enemies they vow to take your life.

I got a story that will amaze your senses, take you far away to places. Take you deep inside my mind I write in cursive so you don’t understand it. Let you fill my body up with binding love so that you never leave me. Arose you with my gift of flow, I got got your total full attention so now you never

Random….

Im so content right now. Positive vibes are manifesting themselves daily. I am at peace. Learning to control my emotions, its a beatiful thing. Waking up in the morning so glad to see  day, knoqing that God has already set my life up for me.